Category Archives: theology
I Love My Church | Week One | Sermon Notes
Here we are in a new sermon series called, “I Love My Church”.
I believe our life fulfillment begins when we realize that: Life is about more than “me”. Life fulfillment begins when I understand that: Life is about “we”.
From the beginning of the Bible, we learn that: It was not good for man to be alone. (Genesis 2:18) So, God creates community. GOD created the concept that humans would gather, pool resources, trade, share ideas, work together, collaborate and when they did, The sum of that community would be greater than the sum of its individual members. God designed humans to gather and form partnerships. The synergy of these partnerships would create something that was impossible form individually.
Ephesians 2:19 So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God’s holy people. You are members of God’s family. 20 Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself. 21 We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord. 22 Through him you Gentiles are also being made part of this dwelling where God lives by his Spirit.
Acts 2:42 All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer. 43 A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. 44 And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had. 45 They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. 46 They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity—47 all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved.
Read the whole book of Acts for more info on this first church. This church changed the world! We are here today because of the efforts of this group. This community. This church body.
Characteristics of the First Church:
- They met together regularly at the church property and in homes.
- They worshipped together.
- They gave generously of their possessions.
- They stuck together in the midst of a culture that was opposed to their way of life. (we know this from other historical study and further scriptures in Acts.)
- They enjoyed each other.
- They Lord increased the size of their church family. (by thousands)
The local church was an enormous part of their life. In fact, it was the core part of their life. It was from their local church that they based their life. God honored their loyalty and dedication to the local church and gave supernatural growth to them individually, healing physically and emotionally.
I want to talk just a bit about 2 reasons why I love my church:
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I Love My Church Because of its DIVERSITY
PromiseLand is colorful. PromiseLand is heavenly. Heaven is not going to have a white section and a Hispanic section and a black section. Heaven is going to look like PromiseLand.
A place where color absolutely does not define you.
A place where your talent or your money absolutely does not define you.
A place where your gender does not elevate or demote you.
At PromiseLand San Marcos we love every person, race, ethnic origin, every gender. Men are going to lead. Women are going to lead. We are going to have black and white and brown pastors. Quite honestly, we aren’t going to talk much about it, we are just going to be it.
If you are new to a multi-cultural environment, then I encourage you to get out of your comfort zone and become friends with people of other colors, other economic
You know what else I love about my church? I love that we embrace those who challenged physically and mentally. We have a adult, teens, and kids who were born with special needs and they have the exact same value here as everyone else. Sometimes they make noise, walk around, act differently than we do. We love ‘em!
We have a phenomenal special needs class room for our younger ones. Some of you might not realize the importance of this class because your life hasn’t been touched personally with this situation. Having a child with special needs means it takes twice as long to get ready. Means you often have to lap a parking lot to find a parking spot because someone parked illegal in the one spot where your van has room to unload the wheel chair. It means people stare at you in the grocery store. It means some give you an evil eye in church when they get a little loud.
I’m thankful I have a church that welcomes all of God’s children no matter who they are or what they can do!
I want to introduce you to Maria’s family. Maria was born with Autism. Her parents didn’t speak English. They wanted to find a place to worship. A place that would accept them for who they were and love on their daughter. Check out this video.
(VIDEO of Chavez Family)
I am so happy to say that beginning today we are interpreting our Sunday morning services in Spanish! If you know folks that need this translation, invite them to the 9:45am service.
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I Love My Church Because of its HEART FOR THE WORLD
At PromiseLand, we believe that we have been blessed in America because our ancestors put God first in their lives. However, at the same time, we do not believe America is better than other nations. Instead, we understand the responsibility that comes with blessing.
Luke 12:48…When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.
We have been given much in the way of education, health, business, finances, spiritual renewal. Instead of wallowing in it or squandering it. At PromiseLand, we find places across the globe to partner with and participate in God’s transformation of that area.
We believe and pray that God’s Kingdom will come and His will be done on Earth as it is in heaven. We also believe that we should not just pray for that to happen across the world, but that we should put on some boots and gloves and dig wells, build homes, build schools, feed kids. We should drive long distances, get on planes and fly around the world.
Our international mission is: Transformation. We want to participate in the transformation of our world in two ways: spiritual and physical. First, we want to help communities naturally with fresh water and education. Second, we want to help local pastors and churches. We believe that if we first help with the natural needs, then the spiritual transformation will follow more effectively.
Beginning in 2005, we went to Monterrey, Mexico built a house for a single mom and helped her start a childcare business.
In 2010, we went to the Nigerian village of Izzi. We drilled the first well their community had ever seen. We bought land and built a church. A last year we built a school for them.
This year, we started a relationship with Guatemala We sent money to rescue 7 babies through World Help.
I’m so excited to announce today that we are officially adopting an entire village in Guatemala beginning a 4 year plan for a Total Village Transformation.
Check this video out:
(VIDEO of Guatemala Total Village Transformation (7min))
It is now our turn! As of this past month, we have officially adopted the village of Las Joyas.
We will be providing: clean drinking water, new school facilities, new church building, self-sustaining businesses, and possibly homes for villagers.
We have trips planned for both Mexico and Guatemala in the summer of 2016. Go to our website for more info.
Home Wreckers | Leaving a Legacy | Sermon Notes
You can always listen to my sermon podcasts by clicking here.
In this series, we are tackling 6 of the biggest issues wrecking our homes:
Money, being single, raising kids, marriage, divorce. There is an enemy out there trying to destroy your home.
HOME-the place in which your domestic affections are centered. (dictionary.com)
At PromiseLand San Marcos, we want to help you and anyone else that will listen to find the TRUTH from Jesus so that your home will not be wrecked by the lies of this culture.
Jesus said it like this:
Matthew 7:24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”
Today, we are going to talk about what will happen when you leave. You are going to leave. At some point, you will leave this earth. Then what? Will your home stand after you are gone? When you have passed from this earth, what will be left? We call this a legacy.
When most people think about passing something down to loved ones, they think about the property, the house. Who is getting the car? Who is getting the jewelry or the guns or the antique?
However, we are talking about a different type of legacy than personal possessions. We are talking about a way of life. A Home Culture.
What type of home culture or foundation are you leaving your family right now? We are ALL right in the middle of passing down something to the next generation. It is not a question of if you will pass something down. The question is: WHAT are you currently passing down? Most likely you are passing down what ever was passed to you
We all have been GIVEN a heritage. We will all LEAVE a legacy.
WHERE WE HAVE COME FROM IS OUR HERITAGE. A heritage is the spiritual, emotional, and social legacy that you received from whomever raised you . . . good or bad.
We cannot deny the ties of biology and identity that tie us to our parents and their parents, going back for generations. Your connections to preceding generations can bring the good or the bad.
WHAT DID WE INHERIT?
How we talk, walk, cook, eat, exercise, smile, laugh, see and understand God, How we treat our kids, how we treat our spouse, how we work, how we view the world, how we see other skin colors, how we value education, how we approach a difficult situation, what kind of faith we have, how we value family, how we view moms and dads roles…
Many in the room today were handed a pattern or cycle of negativity. For generations there has been: addiction, abuse, poverty, jealousy, racism. Some come from a long line of workaholics, cheaters, arrogant/prideful judges (judgmental).
Without even knowing it, we begin to pass down traits like this to our kids and stepkids.
Kids say the darndist things, don’t they? No. They say what we say. They repeat what we say. They repeat how we treat our wife. They repeat how we deal with our problems.
The anger, fear, frustration, bitterness that you were hated as a kid and promised never to participate in has somehow become your nature and now you are passing it on to the next generation. Sometimes we wake up in the middle of these situations almost like we have had a bad dream and think, what I have I done? I am becoming just like my dad. I am sounding just like my mom.
The good news today, is that we can reverse the curse through Jesus Christ. He did not come into the world to save you and leave you like that. He came to redeem you from your past and set you up for a new future: That your home might be on a firm foundation AND that your kids will carry on that firm foundation long after you are gone.
Our hope in Christ not only provides the way out of an ungodly HERITAGE but also empowers us to establish a Godly LEGACY.
Writer Ring Lardner: “The family you come from isn’t as important as the family you’re going to have.”
God is calling us to Leave a Christ-Like Legacy!
Proverbs 17:6 Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.
Proverbs 22:1 A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold.
1 John 2:17 And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.
Peter said it like this:
2 Peter 1:12 Therefore, I will always remind you about these things—even though you already know them and are standing firm in the truth you have been taught. 13 And it is only right that I should keep on reminding you as long as I live. 14 For our Lord Jesus Christ has shown me that I must soon leave this earthly life, 15 so I will work hard to make sure you always remember these things after I am gone.
HOW DO WE BUILD A LEGACY?
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Acknowledge Your Heritage
Come to terms with what you have been given. Admitting what our heritage is can be one of the toughest things to do. Why? Because we have a bond with our family. We love our family. However, we need to identify what parts of our heritage are not a firm foundation. We need to discover what cycles need to be broken in our family culture.
- How we process Anger
- How we process Fear
- How we deal with Pressure
- How we express our Feelings
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Accept Your Responsibility
You matter. What you do matters.
Stop thinking that kids are resilient and that they will bounce back, they will not remember or that it is good for them to be toughened up.
Sometimes we feel ourselves slipping back in to the old nature (daisy). We trust in Jesus to clean the closets of our heritage.
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Create Relationships with Mentors.
Find someone you want to be like and learn from them. Have them download a new operating system into your life. Talk to them. Ask them questions. Take them to dinner or coffee. Spend money. Put your treasure there.
I found pastors that I admired and I emailed them, stalked them until I got their phone numbers, texted them, sent them money. INVEST in me! HELP me!
You need to sow where you want to go. Find someone that is in a place where you want to go and started sowing there.
This church is filled with godly men and women that are needing people to disciple. Small groups are the easiest way to find some of these people. “I tried a small group and didn’t really like it. It quit meeting. FIND ANOTHER ONE. TRY AGAIN.
1 Peter 5:2 (Elders) Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God…5 In the same way, you who are younger must accept the authority of the elders. And all of you, dress yourselves in humility as you relate to one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
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Start Now!
Stop putting it off. It is not too early. It is not too late.
SELF DISCIPLINE – make changes when you do not feel like it. When you do not want to do it for yourself, do it for your kids.
Having active parents makes a difference!
- Children with Fathers who are involved are 70% less likely to drop out of school, are more likely to get A’s in school, are more likely to enjoy school and engage in extracurricular activities are more likely to avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers.
- Adolescent girls raised in a 2 parent home with involved Fathers are significantly less likely to be sexually active than girls raised without involved Fathers.
By walking with Christ, we can do what is against all odds, humanly speaking. As believers, we have the presence of God’s Spirit to guide us to change, so the legacy we write in others’ lives can be godly.
Home Wreckers | Divorce | Sermon Notes
Home Wreckers! | Week Five
You can always listen to our podcast of this message: click here
In this series, we are tackling 6 of the biggest issues wrecking our homes. We have talked about: Money, being single, raising kids, marriage,
Today we are going to talk about the very difficult topic of: Divorce! There is an enemy out there trying to destroy your home. HOME – the place in which your domestic affections are centered. (dictionary.com) At PromiseLand San Marcos, we want to help you and anyone else that will listen to find the TRUTH from Jesus so that your home will not be wrecked by the lies of this culture.
Jesus said it like this:
Matthew 7:24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”
We have all heard that the divorce rate in America is 50%. That is sort of true. When you look at the statistics closer, you see:
- 41% of first marriages end in divorce.
- 60% of second marriages end in divorce.
- 73% of third marriages end in divorce.
- 10% of marriages active in local church end in divorce. Harvard-trained researcher Shaunti Feldhahn
Let’s look at what the Bible teaches about Divorce. I have created a little illustrated chart for you to follow along with. You can take notes on the left side and fill in MARRIAGE or DIVORCE under each scenario as we go along. We want to see what the Bible says about each one.
This first scripture is a response from Jesus to people trying to trick him. Judgmental, Religious leaders who didn’t like Jesus were trying to get him to mess up. They wanted to catch him in some sort of mistake or confusion about God’s ways.
Matthew 19:3 … “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
2 Happy Believers Should Stay Married
Two Married people who believe in Jesus should not get divorced. He makes it clear that marriage is intended for man and woman and that it is a covenant that you make with each other lasting until one of you dies. Pretty self explanatory. Most people don’t have a problem staying together when things are going well.
Matthew 19:7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so…”
2 Unhappy Believers Should Stay Married
This doesn’t mean that Jesus wants them to stay unhappy. Instead, he wants to be their solution to struggle and pain. JESUS wants to the softener of their hearts!
THIS HAS HAPPENED TO SO MANY PEOPLE I KNOW! I have counseled tons of believers in the last 12 years that have been in awful situations of legal trouble, debt, cheating, selfishness… BUT JESUS. They trusted in Jesus and He made a way in their life. Sin may be abounding in a marriage. Sin and ugliness may be rearing its ugly head, but the Bible brings us good news today:
Romans 5:20 But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound:
(NLT)…But as people sinned more and more, God’s wonderful grace became more abundant. 21 So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God’s wonderful grace rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
It does not matter how dark and bleak the situation looks, IF BOTH husband and wife surrender to the almighty God of heaven and earth something can begin to shift in the marriage. Selfishness begins to dry up. Love, mercy, and peace begin to bloom and sprout like a wildflower!
If you are contemplating divorce, always remember this:
Divorce will cost you much more than you ever expected and will return much less of a reward than you ever hoped.
About 5-6 years ago we had a woman tell us she had a vision from God that she was to leave her marriage. Her husband was faithful to her, loved her, provided for the kids, wanted to stay married. She DID NOT have a vision, she had indigestion or something…She was disinterested. Didn’t want to invest in the marriage. Most of all wasn’t trusting in Jesus to be the savior, was DECIEVED and was blaming it on God.
The Bible is clear divorce is not for 2 “believers”. If you are in this situation where you want it to work out and you simply don’t know the path, then PLEASE contact us and let one of our pastors or counselors meet with you and your spouse. JESUS IS ABLE!
1 Corinthians 7:12 Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a fellow believer has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. 13 And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him.
1 Unhappy (or happy) Believer and 1 Happy Unbeliever Should Stay Married
Basically, if you married not knowing God’s perfect plan and you married someone who doesn’t trust in God (unequally yoked) OR if they changed their mind about Jesus after marriage: Paul is saying, that is not grounds for divorce. If that person still loves you and you are working on your marriage, keep on going.
It will be difficult because you might disagree on how to raise kids, give financially, spend time at church functions, etc. BUT GOD is able to handle all those situations. He understands you might be needed in His plan to help your unsaved loved one.
1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.
1 Abandoned Believer and 1 Unhappy Leaver Ends in Divorce
Notice, I put Unhappy LEAVER. It doesn’t matter if the leaver says they are a believer or not. If they are walking out on a marriage, then they are not believing in Jesus as their savior. AND Someone doesn’t have to file for divorce to “leave” the marriage. Sometimes BELIEVERS have to file for divorce to move on with their lives because the leaver is too unstable and unable to make rational choices with their future.
Going back to the text we read earlier, Jesus said to the religious leaders:
Matthew 19:9 And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.”
Being unfaithful is the key to the divorce allowance. What does that mean? Some would say that means adultery only. When we start to write in stone the specifics of the law of what unfaithful we start to become the Pharisees that were talking to Jesus in the first place.
If you are unsure about your relationship with your spouse and if they are being unfaithful and if divorce is where you need to head, then TALK to your pastor. Speak to someone that can help you get to the heart of the matter. That is exactly what Jesus was trying to convey to the Pharisees. They wanted him to define the letter of the law, and Jesus said no, it is about the HEART not the letter of the law. In fact, when it comes to the heart, the law can actually be tough than the letter… (lust is adultery, not just sex)
I want to speak to those of you who are either going through a divorce or you have been divorced already:
Often you can’t keep tragedy from striking your life, but you always have the power to decide how you respond to it. No one can take that from you.
The grief of divorce is neutral in a sense. The darkness of divorce does not have the authority to control you. You can decide to allow the heaviness of divorce take you down the tunnel of depression or up in an atmosphere of worship.
In these moments of despair, you remember the truth that Greater is He that lives within you than he who lives in the World.
1 John 4:4 But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.
I am going to be a VICTOR, not a VICTIM: VICTIM or VICTOR
Victim and Victors start the same way. Someone did you wrong. You were trying your best and others have taken advantage of your goodness. When you have been the target of ugliness, you have a disctint option. Although VICTIM and VICTORS start out the same way, they have complete different outcomes. Some of you have been dealt a hand that really stinks, but I have come today to bring good news! JESUS IS IN THE HOUSE TODAY.
We don’t always understand God’s timing or reasons for allowing certain things, but I believe that your miracle is in the house today because Jesus is here and He is still the miracle worker.
What do you do in the waiting room of life? What do you do when she has walked out on you or he found someone else? We make the choice to respond to God’s truth and promise. He WILL restore our home. He WILL restore our peace. He WILL satisfy us. He WILL protect and fulfill us.
Maybe you are sitting here and asking the question: how do I know if I am a believer or not.
When we say believer, we mean that you BELIEVE Jesus Christ was not just a human, but that he was more than a human. He lived a perfect life, he lived the life that we all want to live, He saw that we as humans were imperfect and failing at life. He loved us so much that he made a new covenant with us. If you believe in me, If you trust in me, I will trade you. I will take your broken life and receive the punishment for it, and you can have what my life earned: eternal life.
Who ever today calls on the name of the Lord, will be saved. You can become a believer in Jesus right now. Not because of your grandma, or momma, or daddy, or spouse, BUT because YOU want to live a new life of freedom.
If that is you OR this message specifically spoke to you about marriage or divorce, I want you to come out of the aisles right now and walk towards the front in a sign of surrender.
Home Wreckers | Marriage Sermon Notes
Here are the sermon notes for the 3rd installment in the Home Wreckers Series. You can listen to our podcast of this message by clicking here or watch it on our vimeo channel. In this series, we are tackling 6 of the biggest issues wrecking our homes. We are talking about: Money, being single, raising kids, divorce, building a legacy.
There is an enemy out there trying to destroy your home. HOME the place in which your domestic affections are centered. (dictionary.com)
At PromiseLand San Marcos, we want to help you and anyone else that will listen to find the TRUTH from Jesus so that your home will not be wrecked by the lies of this culture.
1 Peter 5:8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.
Some of you needed simply to hear that one verse today. You have been beat up this week. You thought it might have been the end. This verse says that even after you have gone through a bad week, the god of all Grace, who has called you to his eternal glory, will himself:
- Restore what has been taken
- Confirm your identity. You are his kids. Don’t fret it. You don’t have to lose any more sleep over this one. Jesus confirms you today. You are his child and he loves you.
- Strengthen your position, you resolve, your resources, your finances
- Establish you firmly in life. like roots going deep and wide into the soil solidifying your future.
Jesus said it like this:
Matthew 7:24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”
FIRST, Let’s look at the wrecking balls and then look to the word of God and respond so that our foundation is solid and secure.
- We have to live up to Pinterest – WRECKING BALL Used to say it like this:
“We can’t keep up with the Joneses.” We wear ourselves out and wreck our families trying to keep up with the pace of people living a different life from us. When they do something spectacular and post it on the internet, we should respond with, “Good job. That is great. I’m going to keep on hanging up this one strand of $14.99 Christmas lights with two missing, but you can go ahead and spend $1200 on decorations.
- Once I get married things will just work out – WRECKING BALL We get married and stop pursuing each other. I’m so tired of seeing people get divorced and all of the sudden working out, tanning, eating right, losing weight. Our homes are wrecked when we put our marriage on cruise control. We have to pursue our spouse
- My spouse and I haven’t talked about it, but we agree on what the proper role of a husband and a wife is. WRECKING BALL We are different. God created us male and female. We are different. Being created as two different genders was not an accident. It was intentional. Both male and female represent different characteristics of God’s image/nature. We understand that in some ways men are physically different: faster, more muscular than women. We understand that women are tougher than men when it comes to mentality and tenacity.
- If my spouse would simply take care of my needs, we would be good. WRECKING BALL! Oh, ok. So it is all about them needing to take care of you, but you don’t need to help them?
This passage that we are about to read is THE manual for marriage. There are no secrets. As we go through this passage: Let God’s word speak to you today. Let God’s word instruct you today. Let God’s word convict you and motivate you to action. I am fully confident that the remedy and prescription to ANY marriage problem is found in this text. Take notes. If there is something you haven’t heard, highlight and research. If there is something you don’t possess, PRAY and ask God for it.
This is the word you have been needing in your marriage.
Ephesians 5:15 So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. 16 Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. 17 Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Be careful. Don’t live like fools. Make the most of everything. Understand the Lord.
HOW DO WE DO THAT?
Talk to God. We read His word. If you want your relationships to thrive, then make a commitment! Be proactive. Get into the vein of God’s Spirit. What would be the opposite of getting into the vein of God’s spirit? Looking to the spirits of this world to console you, help you, move you forward. Paul knows this and hits it directly on the head:
18 Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, 19 singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. 20 And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
The command to BE FILLED means that some people try to live this life as a Believer without the indwelling presence of God’s Spirit. The Holy Spirit. The message here is: if you want your relationships to be healthy. If you want your home built on a solid foundation, then pursue the infilling of the Holy Spirit that is subsequent or deeper or more or beyond simply believing in Jesus. Pray for God’s Spirit to baptize you. If you are unaware of this, then read the book of Acts and see what happens to believers when they were baptized with the Spirit.
21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. 25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.
Wives submit to your husbands. Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church. These two are INSEPARABLE. You can’t have one without the other. When these are together, this is where the magic happens.
Loving someone is such a way that you are sacrificially giving your life for theirs. Meaning you would lay down your choices for her choices. You would prefer her. You would deny your own passions in order to help your wife fulfill her passions.
Wives you are to submit to another human (and not to someone who is like Jesus all the time) but a human being that makes mistakes, passes gas, burps, comes home late, forgets to pick up the dry cleaning.
Husbands sacrificially love your wives.
28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Marriage is about helping each other become our future glory-selves, the new creations that God will eventually make us.
All deep and meaningful relationships are to help each other become more like the person that God intended us to be. He has placed others in your life to sharpen you. Marriage is the most intimate of these relationships because of the physical attraction and romance.
It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of the person God is creating and to say, “I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be a part of that. I want to partner with you and God in the journey you are taking to his throne. And when we get there, I will look at your magnificence and say, “I always knew you could be like this. I got glimpses of this on earth, but now look at you!” – Timothy Keller in the Meaning of Marriage
Each spouse should see the great thing that Jesus is doing in the life of their mate through the Word!
I want to pray with you today. Some are considering marriage. Others are early on in the marriage. Others are struggling in your relationship. Others are facing separation.
Next week, we are going to talk about kids. We are going to talk about it from both perspectives. So if you have kids or you are a kid…this one is for you.
Let’s ask God INTO whatever situation your home is encountering. THERE IS NO SITUATION OR STORM OF LIFE THAT IS TOO BIG FOR GOD. The enemy wants you to think that you will never find contentment or fulfillment again. THAT IS A LIE.
Will I Ever Find My SoulMate? What Happened to My SoulMate?
Home Wreckers! | Week Two
In this series, we are tackling 6 of the biggest issues in our homes.
We are answering questions like: Does raising kids ever get easier? What happens after divorce? How do we build a family legacy?
These are home wreckers: Selfishness, Addiction, Sexual Sin, Past Mistakes, Generational Cycles, Age differences, Personality differences, Divorce. Home Wreckers!
Today, we are going to answer the question: “Will I ever find my soul mate? What happened to my soul mate?”
RAISE YOUR HAND IF you are married up in here?? Keep your hand raised if you think you married your soul mate? JUST KIDDING! Everyone lower your hands
From the time we are born and can understand words, we hear phrases like: “living happily ever after, my other half, my better half, you complete me, I found my soul mate, I’m looking for my soul mate, I know God has THE ONE out there for me, if I could just find her/him.”
Over time, these phrases and others like them begin to create a false sense of success or security in a spouse and a marriage.
Then, our homes are wrecked because people cannot live up to the position that we have put them in. We have propped up people to be in a place that only belongs to God.
HOME – the place in which your domestic affections are centered. (dictionary.com)
Do you know that trying to find a soul mate in another human might be the worst thing that could happen to your home as a single adult?
You are trying to create a home and don’t realize that you have a home right now.
Listen to one of our modern day poets:
We clawed, we chained our hearts in vain, We jumped never asking why, We kissed, I fell under your spell. A love no one could deny, Don’t you ever say I just walked away, I will always want you, I can’t live a lie, running for my life, I will always want you, I came in like a wrecking ball, I never hit so hard in love, All I wanted was to break your walls, All you ever did was wreck me, Yeah, you, you wreck me
Those are the words of Miley Cyrus. They echo the sentiments of young adults all over the world. It is the same message that her dad, Billy Ray, sang about in 1992
But don’t tell my heart, My achy breaky heart, I just don’t think he’d understand, And if you tell my heart, My achy breaky heart, He might blow up and kill this man
At PromiseLand San Marcos, we want to help you, Miley, and Billy Ray and anyone else that will listen to find the TRUTH from Jesus so that your home will not be wrecked by the lies of this culture.
Matthew 7:24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”
What does God’s word teach about finding the man or woman of my dreams? How should I follow God’s word about finding my soul mate and build my home on a FIRM foundation?
SHOULD I GET MARRIED? The Bible tells us yes, not to complete you but to help you. We are looking for a helpmate not a soulmate.
Let’s start at the beginning and go from there. After God created Adam:
Genesis 2:18 Then the lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”
He created animals and they were enough to help Adam. So, God created woman! To help Adam. Eve was to make life a bit easier for Adam. Adam was to make life a bit more easy for Eve. To help each other.
Genesis 2:23 “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” 24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. 25 Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.
Let’s look at what Jesus said about finding someone and marrying them.
Mark 10:6 But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. 7 ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, 8 and the two are united into one. ’Since they are no longer two but one, 9 let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
Paul quotes this passage as well in Ephesians 5:31. In his Corinthian letter, Paul tells people to get married and fulfill each other, Then says:
I Corinthians 7:6 I say this (getting married part) as a concession, not as a command. 7 But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. 8 So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. 9 But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.
There is a fulfilling life of singleness that is not a mistake, or because you are not good enough, or because Mr/Mrs Right hasn’t come along yet. All life: single or married is fulfilling and complete, not because of the person in whom you’ve married. PERIOD
If finding the right person was so important, then why do so many marriages end in divorce? Why are so many married people struggling to find peace and happiness?
What Paul is saying is that contentment and peace comes from something besides being married to a specific person. Once you marry someone, they DO become your one and only! No Doubt.
But you don’t ride off in the sunset together living happily ever after.
Last week, I taught on how our finances wreck us. They wreck us primarily because of our selfishness and lack of discipline. Our desire to please our self. This week, the wrecking ball crashes into our homes because we look to another human being to be our source of completion. The idea of another human being your soul mate is NO WHERE IN THE BIBLE. The only soul mate in the scripture is Jesus Christ. He is the OSM. The Original Soul Mate.
Here is a great Vision for your Life: Jesus Christ is so Great, Good, Gracious, and Glorious that he can fulfill me without any other person, place, thing, or activity.
Let’s start trusting in Jesus as our soul mate. Once that is established, you are complete. You are complete in him.
If you are not complete, then you are a fraction. Half, third, quarter… .435, .934, .239 If you are whole, then you are 1.0. Scripture says that two 1.0’s join together in marriage and become one. The only way you as a fractured person with problems, issues, hang-ups, anger outbursts, pimples, laziness, bad breath and low self confidence will ever become whole is NOT BY FINDING the right MAN or WOMAN. They will not complete YOU.
Jesus is the only one that sets you up to become a 1.0. Ready for marriage where a 1.0 meets another 1.0 and makes a covenant. Marriage is all about a covenant where you agree to walk together as a couple towards Christ. It is not about the cake, or the kids, or the house, or the grandkids. It is about agreeing to live life for better or worse with another person and HELPING THEM become more like Christ.
Timothy Keller wrote a wonderful book on this topic called the Meaning of Marriage. I highly encourage all singles to read this book before you become this person:
You are going to wreck YOUR home if you decide to marry a person because you think they will complete you. You will wreck your home if you think that marriage will fix the problems that you have while dating. Marriage is not a magic wand that fixes your brokenness. Surrender to Jesus and you will find the healing that you are looking for. It is only after this that you will find the contentment and peace you are looking for.
If marriage is not about finding one person that perfectly completes me, does that mean I can marry anyone I want? Is it possible to marry the wrong person?
YES, It is very possible to marry the wrong person.
2 Corinthians 6:14 Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? 15 What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? 16 And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God…
If you have found Jesus to be the completer of your life and you want begin a life long commitment with someone that has not, then you are unequally yoking or teaming up with someone. Setting yourself up for what my grandmother would say: “a long row to hoe”
If you are standing here saying, “I married the wrong person.”… We are continuing for the next several weeks on this topic. We couldn’t cover it all today. We are going to talk about next steps. Jesus is going to help you.
Robin Steele 