Here are the sermon notes for the 3rd installment in the Home Wreckers Series.  You can listen to our podcast of this message by clicking here or watch it on our vimeo channel.  In this series, we are tackling 6 of the biggest issues wrecking our homes.  We are talking about: Money, being single, raising kids, divorce, building a legacy.

There is an enemy out there trying to destroy your home.  HOME the place in which your domestic affections are centered. (dictionary.com)

At PromiseLand San Marcos, we want to help you and anyone else that will listen to find the TRUTH from Jesus so that your home will not be wrecked by the lies of this culture.

1 Peter 5:8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Some of you needed simply to hear that one verse today. You have been beat up this week. You thought it might have been the end. This verse says that even after you have gone through a bad week, the god of all Grace, who has called you to his eternal glory, will himself:

• Restore what has been taken
• Confirm your identity. You are his kids. Don’t fret it. You don’t have to lose any more sleep over this one. Jesus confirms you today. You are his child and he loves you.
• Strengthen your position, you resolve, your resources, your finances
• Establish you firmly in life. like roots going deep and wide into the soil solidifying your future.

Jesus said it like this:

Matthew 7:24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock.  26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand.  27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”

FIRST, Let’s look at the wrecking balls and then look to the word of God and respond so that our foundation is solid and secure.

1. We have to live up to Pinterest – WRECKING BALL Used to say it like this:
   “We can’t keep up with the Joneses.” We wear ourselves out and wreck our families trying to keep up with the pace of people living a different life from us.  When they do something spectacular and post it on the internet, we should respond with, “Good job. That is great. I’m going to keep on hanging up this one strand of $14.99 Christmas lights with two missing, but you can go ahead and spend $1200 on decorations.

2. Once I get married things will just work out – WRECKING BALL We get married and stop pursuing each other. I’m so tired of seeing people get divorced and all of the sudden working out, tanning, eating right, losing weight.  Our homes are wrecked when we put our marriage on cruise control. We have to pursue our spouse

3. My spouse and I haven’t talked about it, but we agree on what the proper role of a husband and a wife is. WRECKING BALL We are different. God created us male and female. We are different. Being created as two different genders was not an accident. It was intentional. Both male and female represent different characteristics of God’s image/nature. We understand that in some ways men are physically different: faster, more muscular than women.  We understand that women are tougher than men when it comes to mentality and tenacity.

4. If my spouse would simply take care of my needs, we would be good. WRECKING BALL!  Oh, ok. So it is all about them needing to take care of you, but you don’t need to help them?

This passage that we are about to read is THE manual for marriage. There are no secrets. As we go through this passage:  Let God’s word speak to you today.  Let God’s word instruct you today.  Let God’s word convict you and motivate you to action.  I am fully confident that the remedy and prescription to ANY marriage problem is found in this text.  Take notes. If there is something you haven’t heard, highlight and research. If there is something you don’t possess, PRAY and ask God for it.

This is the word you have been needing in your marriage.

Ephesians 5:15 So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. 16 Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. 17 Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.  Be careful. Don’t live like fools. Make the most of everything. Understand the Lord.

HOW DO WE DO THAT?

Talk to God. We read His word.  If you want your relationships to thrive, then make a commitment! Be proactive. Get into the vein of God’s Spirit.  What would be the opposite of getting into the vein of God’s spirit? Looking to the spirits of this world to console you, help you, move you forward. Paul knows this and hits it directly on the head:

18 Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, 19 singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. 20 And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

The command to BE FILLED means that some people try to live this life as a Believer without the indwelling presence of God’s Spirit. The Holy Spirit. The message here is: if you want your relationships to be healthy. If you want your home built on a solid foundation, then pursue the infilling of the Holy Spirit that is subsequent or deeper or more or beyond simply believing in Jesus. Pray for God’s Spirit to baptize you. If you are unaware of this, then read the book of Acts and see what happens to believers when they were baptized with the Spirit.

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.  25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.

Wives submit to your husbands. Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church.  These two are INSEPARABLE. You can’t have one without the other.  When these are together, this is where the magic happens.

Loving someone is such a way that you are sacrificially giving your life for theirs. Meaning you would lay down your choices for her choices. You would prefer her. You would deny your own passions in order to help your wife fulfill her passions.

Wives you are to submit to another human (and not to someone who is like Jesus all the time) but a human being that makes mistakes, passes gas, burps, comes home late, forgets to pick up the dry cleaning.

Husbands sacrificially love your wives.

28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.  31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Marriage is about helping each other become our future glory-selves, the new creations that God will eventually make us.

All deep and meaningful relationships are to help each other become more like the person that God intended us to be. He has placed others in your life to sharpen you. Marriage is the most intimate of these relationships because of the physical attraction and romance.

It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of the person God is creating and to say, “I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be a part of that. I want to partner with you and God in the journey you are taking to his throne. And when we get there, I will look at your magnificence and say, “I always knew you could be like this. I got glimpses of this on earth, but now look at you!”  – Timothy Keller in the Meaning of Marriage

Each spouse should see the great thing that Jesus is doing in the life of their mate through the Word!

I want to pray with you today. Some are considering marriage. Others are early on in the marriage. Others are struggling in your relationship. Others are facing separation.

Next week, we are going to talk about kids. We are going to talk about it from both perspectives. So if you have kids or you are a kid…this one is for you.

Let’s ask God INTO whatever situation your home is encountering.  THERE IS NO SITUATION OR STORM OF LIFE THAT IS TOO BIG FOR GOD.  The enemy wants you to think that you will never find contentment or fulfillment again.  THAT IS A LIE.