My Kind of Jokes

One liners by Stephen Wright:

  • For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier…I put them in the same room and let them fight it out…
  • Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone…when I came back the entire area was missing…
  • I put instant coffee in my microwave oven and almost went back in time.
  • “My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn’t get his birth mark til he was eight years old.”
  • “He was a multi-millionaire… Wanna know how he made all of his money? … He designed the little diagrams that tell which way to put batteries in…”
  • There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.



About pastorrobin

Hello. I pastor PromiseLand Church in San Marcos, TX. I am married to Erica, and we have 3 kids: Kennady, Jude, and Avery. All little ones! Visit our church site at

Posted on November 30, 2007, in Random Mumbling. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. I forgot this one…

    “The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”

  2. Might try this one if you get pulled over…

    “Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn’t going to be on the
    road an hour.”

  3. I like the last one! I heard a good one the other day,”I never understood the big deal about tracking expenses, they are everywhere!”

  4. Great blog for a Friday or any day of the week. I am sure my husband is working on his joke right now. 🙂 I love to laugh!!!!

  5. The old saying: “He who laughs last, laughs best” is true about my fishing and the last joke. In the past when attempting to fish, I could never draw the proverbial line and always ended up looking bad, so I have decided fishing is a spectator sport and join the fish as we laugh at all those guys making a fools of themselves.

  6. Stephen Wright is one of my very favorite comedians!! It was great to “hear” some of these one-liners again.

  7. “I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.”
    -Steve Wright
    (I like to read this website sometimes…this one came up and it is funny).

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