Home Wreckers | Divorce | Sermon Notes

marriagechart4Home Wreckers! | Week Five

You can always listen to our podcast of this message: click here

In this series, we are tackling 6 of the biggest issues wrecking our homes.  We have talked about: Money, being single, raising kids, marriage,


Today we are going to talk about the very difficult topic of: Divorce!  There is an enemy out there trying to destroy your home.  HOME – the place in which your domestic affections are centered. (dictionary.com)  At PromiseLand San Marcos, we want to help you and anyone else that will listen to find the TRUTH from Jesus so that your home will not be wrecked by the lies of this culture.

Jesus said it like this:

Matthew 7:24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock.  26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand.  27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”

We have all heard that the divorce rate in America is 50%. That is sort of true.  When you look at the statistics closer, you see:

  • 41% of first marriages end in divorce.
  • 60% of second marriages end in divorce.
  • 73% of third marriages end in divorce.
  • 10% of marriages active in local church end in divorce. Harvard-trained researcher Shaunti Feldhahn

Let’s look at what the Bible teaches about Divorce. I have created a little illustrated chart for you to follow along with. You can take notes on the left side and fill in MARRIAGE or DIVORCE under each scenario as we go along. We want to see what the Bible says about each one.

This first scripture is a response from Jesus to people trying to trick him. Judgmental, Religious leaders who didn’t like Jesus were trying to get him to mess up. They wanted to catch him in some sort of mistake or confusion about God’s ways.

Matthew 19:3 … “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

2 Happy Believers Should Stay Married

Two Married people who believe in Jesus should not get divorced. He makes it clear that marriage is intended for man and woman and that it is a covenant that you make with each other lasting until one of you dies.  Pretty self explanatory. Most people don’t have a problem staying together when things are going well.

Matthew 19:7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so…”

2 Unhappy Believers Should Stay Married

This doesn’t mean that Jesus wants them to stay unhappy. Instead, he wants to be their solution to struggle and pain. JESUS wants to the softener of their hearts!

THIS HAS HAPPENED TO SO MANY PEOPLE I KNOW!  I have counseled tons of believers in the last 12 years that have been in awful situations of legal trouble, debt, cheating, selfishness… BUT JESUS.  They trusted in Jesus and He made a way in their life.  Sin may be abounding in a marriage. Sin and ugliness may be rearing its ugly head, but the Bible brings us good news today:

Romans 5:20 But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound:

(NLT)…But as people sinned more and more, God’s wonderful grace became more abundant. 21 So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God’s wonderful grace rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

It does not matter how dark and bleak the situation looks, IF BOTH husband and wife surrender to the almighty God of heaven and earth something can begin to shift in the marriage. Selfishness begins to dry up. Love, mercy, and peace begin to bloom and sprout like a wildflower!

If you are contemplating divorce, always remember this:

Divorce will cost you much more than you ever expected and will return much less of a reward than you ever hoped. 

About 5-6 years ago we had a woman tell us she had a vision from God that she was to leave her marriage. Her husband was faithful to her, loved her, provided for the kids, wanted to stay married. She DID NOT have a vision, she had indigestion or something…She was disinterested. Didn’t want to invest in the marriage. Most of all wasn’t trusting in Jesus to be the savior, was DECIEVED and was blaming it on God.

The Bible is clear divorce is not for 2 “believers”.  If you are in this situation where you want it to work out and you simply don’t know the path, then PLEASE contact us and let one of our pastors or counselors meet with you and your spouse. JESUS IS ABLE!


1 Corinthians 7:12 Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a fellow believer has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. 13 And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him.

1 Unhappy (or happy) Believer and 1 Happy Unbeliever Should Stay Married

Basically, if you married not knowing God’s perfect plan and you married someone who doesn’t trust in God (unequally yoked) OR if they changed their mind about Jesus after marriage:  Paul is saying, that is not grounds for divorce. If that person still loves you and you are working on your marriage, keep on going.

It will be difficult because you might disagree on how to raise kids, give financially, spend time at church functions, etc. BUT GOD is able to handle all those situations. He understands you might be needed in His plan to help your unsaved loved one.

1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.

1 Abandoned Believer and 1 Unhappy Leaver Ends in Divorce

Notice, I put Unhappy LEAVER. It doesn’t matter if the leaver says they are a believer or not. If they are walking out on a marriage, then they are not believing in Jesus as their savior.  AND Someone doesn’t have to file for divorce to “leave” the marriage. Sometimes BELIEVERS have to file for divorce to move on with their lives because the leaver is too unstable and unable to make rational choices with their future.

Going back to the text we read earlier, Jesus said to the religious leaders:

Matthew 19:9 And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.”

Being unfaithful is the key to the divorce allowance. What does that mean? Some would say that means adultery only. When we start to write in stone the specifics of the law of what unfaithful we start to become the Pharisees that were talking to Jesus in the first place.

If you are unsure about your relationship with your spouse and if they are being unfaithful and if divorce is where you need to head, then TALK to your pastor. Speak to someone that can help you get to the heart of the matter. That is exactly what Jesus was trying to convey to the Pharisees. They wanted him to define the letter of the law, and Jesus said no, it is about the HEART not the letter of the law. In fact, when it comes to the heart, the law can actually be tough than the letter… (lust is adultery, not just sex)

I want to speak to those of you who are either going through a divorce or you have been divorced already:

Often you can’t keep tragedy from striking your life, but you always have the power to decide how you respond to it.   No one can take that from you.

The grief of divorce is neutral in a sense.  The darkness of divorce does not have the authority to control you. You can decide to allow the heaviness of divorce take you down the tunnel of depression or up in an atmosphere of worship.

In these moments of despair, you remember the truth that Greater is He that lives within you than he who lives in the World.

1 John 4:4 But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.

I am going to be a VICTOR, not a VICTIM:  VICTIM or VICTOR
Victim and Victors start the same way. Someone did you wrong. You were trying your best and others have taken advantage of your goodness. When you have been the target of ugliness, you have a disctint option.  Although VICTIM and VICTORS start out the same way, they have complete different outcomes.  Some of you have been dealt a hand that really stinks, but I have come today to bring good news! JESUS IS IN THE HOUSE TODAY.

We don’t always understand God’s timing or reasons for allowing certain things, but I believe that your miracle is in the house today because Jesus is here and He is still the miracle worker.

What do you do in the waiting room of life?  What do you do when she has walked out on you or he found someone else?  We make the choice to respond to God’s truth and promise. He WILL restore our home. He WILL restore our peace. He WILL satisfy us. He WILL protect and fulfill us.

Maybe you are sitting here and asking the question: how do I know if I am a believer or not.

When we say believer, we mean that you BELIEVE Jesus Christ was not just a human, but that he was more than a human. He lived a perfect life, he lived the life that we all want to live, He saw that we as humans were imperfect and failing at life. He loved us so much that he made a new covenant with us. If you believe in me, If you trust in me, I will trade you. I will take your broken life and receive the punishment for it, and you can have what my life earned: eternal life.

Who ever today calls on the name of the Lord, will be saved. You can become a believer in Jesus right now. Not because of your grandma, or momma, or daddy, or spouse, BUT because YOU want to live a new life of freedom.

If that is you OR this message specifically spoke to you about marriage or divorce, I want you to come out of the aisles right now and walk towards the front in a sign of surrender.

Home Wreckers | Marriage Sermon Notes

Here are the sermon notes for the 3rd installment in the Home Wreckers Series.  You can listen to our podcast of this message by clicking here or watch it on our vimeo channel.  In this series, we are tackling 6 of the biggest issues wrecking our homes.  We are talking about: Money, being single, raising kids, divorce, building a legacy.

There is an enemy out there trying to destroy your home.  HOME the place in which your domestic affections are centered. (dictionary.com)

At PromiseLand San Marcos, we want to help you and anyone else that will listen to find the TRUTH from Jesus so that your home will not be wrecked by the lies of this culture.

1 Peter 5:8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Some of you needed simply to hear that one verse today. You have been beat up this week. You thought it might have been the end. This verse says that even after you have gone through a bad week, the god of all Grace, who has called you to his eternal glory, will himself:

  • Restore what has been taken
  • Confirm your identity. You are his kids. Don’t fret it. You don’t have to lose any more sleep over this one. Jesus confirms you today. You are his child and he loves you.
  • Strengthen your position, you resolve, your resources, your finances
  • Establish you firmly in life. like roots going deep and wide into the soil solidifying your future.

Jesus said it like this:

Matthew 7:24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock.  26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand.  27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”

FIRST, Let’s look at the wrecking balls and then look to the word of God and respond so that our foundation is solid and secure.

  1. We have to live up to Pinterest – WRECKING BALL Used to say it like this:
    “We can’t keep up with the Joneses.” We wear ourselves out and wreck our families trying to keep up with the pace of people living a different life from us.  When they do something spectacular and post it on the internet, we should respond with, “Good job. That is great. I’m going to keep on hanging up this one strand of $14.99 Christmas lights with two missing, but you can go ahead and spend $1200 on decorations.
  1. Once I get married things will just work out – WRECKING BALL We get married and stop pursuing each other. I’m so tired of seeing people get divorced and all of the sudden working out, tanning, eating right, losing weight.  Our homes are wrecked when we put our marriage on cruise control. We have to pursue our spouse
  1. My spouse and I haven’t talked about it, but we agree on what the proper role of a husband and a wife is. WRECKING BALL We are different. God created us male and female. We are different. Being created as two different genders was not an accident. It was intentional. Both male and female represent different characteristics of God’s image/nature. We understand that in some ways men are physically different: faster, more muscular than women.  We understand that women are tougher than men when it comes to mentality and tenacity.

mancold-2 mancold-1

  1. If my spouse would simply take care of my needs, we would be good. WRECKING BALL!  Oh, ok. So it is all about them needing to take care of you, but you don’t need to help them?


This passage that we are about to read is THE manual for marriage. There are no secrets. As we go through this passage:  Let God’s word speak to you today.  Let God’s word instruct you today.  Let God’s word convict you and motivate you to action.  I am fully confident that the remedy and prescription to ANY marriage problem is found in this text.  Take notes. If there is something you haven’t heard, highlight and research. If there is something you don’t possess, PRAY and ask God for it.

This is the word you have been needing in your marriage.

Ephesians 5:15 So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. 16 Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. 17 Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.  Be careful. Don’t live like fools. Make the most of everything. Understand the Lord.


Talk to God. We read His word.  If you want your relationships to thrive, then make a commitment! Be proactive. Get into the vein of God’s Spirit.  What would be the opposite of getting into the vein of God’s spirit? Looking to the spirits of this world to console you, help you, move you forward. Paul knows this and hits it directly on the head:

18 Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, 19 singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. 20 And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

The command to BE FILLED means that some people try to live this life as a Believer without the indwelling presence of God’s Spirit. The Holy Spirit. The message here is: if you want your relationships to be healthy. If you want your home built on a solid foundation, then pursue the infilling of the Holy Spirit that is subsequent or deeper or more or beyond simply believing in Jesus. Pray for God’s Spirit to baptize you. If you are unaware of this, then read the book of Acts and see what happens to believers when they were baptized with the Spirit.

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.  25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.

Wives submit to your husbands. Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church.  These two are INSEPARABLE. You can’t have one without the other.  When these are together, this is where the magic happens.

Loving someone is such a way that you are sacrificially giving your life for theirs. Meaning you would lay down your choices for her choices. You would prefer her. You would deny your own passions in order to help your wife fulfill her passions.

Wives you are to submit to another human (and not to someone who is like Jesus all the time) but a human being that makes mistakes, passes gas, burps, comes home late, forgets to pick up the dry cleaning.

Husbands sacrificially love your wives.

28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.  31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Marriage is about helping each other become our future glory-selves, the new creations that God will eventually make us.

All deep and meaningful relationships are to help each other become more like the person that God intended us to be. He has placed others in your life to sharpen you. Marriage is the most intimate of these relationships because of the physical attraction and romance.

It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of the person God is creating and to say, “I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be a part of that. I want to partner with you and God in the journey you are taking to his throne. And when we get there, I will look at your magnificence and say, “I always knew you could be like this. I got glimpses of this on earth, but now look at you!”  – Timothy Keller in the Meaning of Marriage

Each spouse should see the great thing that Jesus is doing in the life of their mate through the Word!

I want to pray with you today. Some are considering marriage. Others are early on in the marriage. Others are struggling in your relationship. Others are facing separation.

Next week, we are going to talk about kids. We are going to talk about it from both perspectives. So if you have kids or you are a kid…this one is for you.

Let’s ask God INTO whatever situation your home is encountering.  THERE IS NO SITUATION OR STORM OF LIFE THAT IS TOO BIG FOR GOD.  The enemy wants you to think that you will never find contentment or fulfillment again.  THAT IS A LIE.




Will I Ever Find My SoulMate? What Happened to My SoulMate?

HOMEWRECKERS_mainHome Wreckers! | Week Two

In this series, we are tackling 6 of the biggest issues in our homes.

We are answering questions like: Does raising kids ever get easier? What happens after divorce? How do we build a family legacy?

These are home wreckers: Selfishness, Addiction, Sexual Sin, Past Mistakes, Generational Cycles, Age differences, Personality differences, Divorce. Home Wreckers!

Today, we are going to answer the question: “Will I ever find my soul mate? What happened to my soul mate?”

RAISE YOUR HAND IF you are married up in here?? Keep your hand raised if you think you married your soul mate? JUST KIDDING! Everyone lower your hands

From the time we are born and can understand words, we hear phrases like: “living happily ever after, my other half, my better half, you complete me, I found my soul mate, I’m looking for my soul mate, I know God has THE ONE out there for me, if I could just find her/him.”

Over time, these phrases and others like them begin to create a false sense of success or security in a spouse and a marriage.

Then, our homes are wrecked because people cannot live up to the position that we have put them in. We have propped up people to be in a place that only belongs to God.

HOME – the place in which your domestic affections are centered. (dictionary.com)

Do you know that trying to find a soul mate in another human might be the worst thing that could happen to your home as a single adult?

You are trying to create a home and don’t realize that you have a home right now.

Listen to one of our modern day poets:

We clawed, we chained our hearts in vain, We jumped never asking why, We kissed, I fell under your spell. A love no one could deny, Don’t you ever say I just walked away, I will always want you, I can’t live a lie, running for my life, I will always want you, I came in like a wrecking ball, I never hit so hard in love, All I wanted was to break your walls, All you ever did was wreck me, Yeah, you, you wreck me

Those are the words of Miley Cyrus. They echo the sentiments of young adults all over the world. It is the same message that her dad, Billy Ray, sang about in 1992

But don’t tell my heart, My achy breaky heart, I just don’t think he’d understand, And if you tell my heart, My achy breaky heart, He might blow up and kill this man

At PromiseLand San Marcos, we want to help you, Miley, and Billy Ray and anyone else that will listen to find the TRUTH from Jesus so that your home will not be wrecked by the lies of this culture.

Matthew 7:24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock.  26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand.  27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”

What does God’s word teach about finding the man or woman of my dreams?  How should I follow God’s word about finding my soul mate and build my home on a FIRM foundation?

SHOULD I GET MARRIED?  The Bible tells us yes, not to complete you but to help you.  We are looking for a helpmate not a soulmate.

Let’s start at the beginning and go from there. After God created Adam:

Genesis 2:18 Then the lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

He created animals and they were enough to help Adam. So, God created woman!  To help Adam. Eve was to make life a bit easier for Adam. Adam was to make life a bit more easy for Eve. To help each other.

Genesis 2:23 “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” 24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. 25 Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.

Let’s look at what Jesus said about finding someone and marrying them.

Mark 10:6 But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. 7 ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife,  8 and the two are united into one. ’Since they are no longer two but one, 9 let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

Paul quotes this passage as well in Ephesians 5:31.  In his Corinthian letter, Paul tells people to get married and fulfill each other, Then says:

I Corinthians 7:6 I say this (getting married part) as a concession, not as a command. 7 But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. 8 So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. 9 But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.

There is a fulfilling life of singleness that is not a mistake, or because you are not good enough, or because Mr/Mrs Right hasn’t come along yet. All life: single or married is fulfilling and complete, not because of the person in whom you’ve married. PERIOD

If finding the right person was so important, then why do so many marriages end in divorce? Why are so many married people struggling to find peace and happiness?

What Paul is saying is that contentment and peace comes from something besides being married to a specific person. Once you marry someone, they DO become your one and only! No Doubt.

But you don’t ride off in the sunset together living happily ever after.


Last week, I taught on how our finances wreck us. They wreck us primarily because of our selfishness and lack of discipline. Our desire to please our self.  This week, the wrecking ball crashes into our homes because we look to another human being to be our source of completion.  The idea of another human being your soul mate is NO WHERE IN THE BIBLE. The only soul mate in the scripture is Jesus Christ. He is the OSM. The Original Soul Mate.

Here is a great Vision for your Life: Jesus Christ is so Great, Good, Gracious, and Glorious that he can fulfill me without any other person, place, thing, or activity.

Let’s start trusting in Jesus as our soul mate. Once that is established, you are complete. You are complete in him.

If you are not complete, then you are a fraction. Half, third, quarter… .435, .934, .239  If you are whole, then you are 1.0.  Scripture says that two 1.0’s join together in marriage and become one. The only way you as a fractured person with problems, issues, hang-ups, anger outbursts, pimples, laziness, bad breath and low self confidence will ever become whole is NOT BY FINDING the right MAN or WOMAN. They will not complete YOU.

Jesus is the only one that sets you up to become a 1.0. Ready for marriage where a 1.0 meets another 1.0 and makes a covenant. Marriage is all about a covenant where you agree to walk together as a couple towards Christ. It is not about the cake, or the kids, or the house, or the grandkids. It is about agreeing to live life for better or worse with another person and HELPING THEM become more like Christ.

Timothy Keller wrote a wonderful book on this topic called the Meaning of Marriage. I highly encourage all singles to read this book before you become this person:

Emoticon Lover

You are going to wreck YOUR home if you decide to marry a person because you think they will complete you. You will wreck your home if you think that marriage will fix the problems that you have while dating. Marriage is not a magic wand that fixes your brokenness. Surrender to Jesus and you will find the healing that you are looking for. It is only after this that you will find the contentment and peace you are looking for.

If marriage is not about finding one person that perfectly completes me, does that mean I can marry anyone I want?  Is it possible to marry the wrong person?

YES, It is very possible to marry the wrong person.

2 Corinthians 6:14 Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? 15 What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? 16 And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God…

If you have found Jesus to be the completer of your life and you want begin a life long commitment with someone that has not, then you are unequally yoking or teaming up with someone. Setting yourself up for what my grandmother would say: “a long row to hoe”
If you are standing here saying, “I married the wrong person.”… We are continuing for the next several weeks on this topic. We couldn’t cover it all today. We are going to talk about next steps. Jesus is going to help you.



Protect Your Home from a Financial Wrecking Ball

HOMEWRECKERS_mainHere is week one sermon notes for our series called: “Home Wreckers!” We are going to tackle 6 of the biggest issues in our homes. You can always hear the podcasts of our message by clicking here.  We will be answering questions like:

  • Will I ever find my soul mate? Does God want me to be married?
  • What happened to the person I married?
  • Does raising kids ever get easier?
  • What happens after divorce?
  • How do we build a family legacy?

These are home wreckers. Selfishness, Addiction, Sexual Sin, Past Mistakes, Generational Cycles, Age differences, Personality differences, Divorce. Home Wreckers!

When I say HOME. I’m talking about single, married, widows. Home doesn’t mean home owners, married, 2 kids, and a dog. You have a home wherever you are in life.

Some of you live in a home with a spouse, a roommate, a partner, alone. We want to talk about your home. Whether that is a trailer, a dorm, an apartment, a duplex, a track home or a mansion.

In this session, we are going to talk about the number one cause of fighting in homes: Money

Money itself is not the problem. Our love for money. Our laziness dealing with money. Our apathy about money. Our pursuit of more money.  Our lack of communication about it. Our lack of accountability. Our fear of the future.  Are all parts of the problem.

At PromiseLand San Marcos, we want to help you find the TRUTH from Jesus so that your home will not be wrecked by the lies of this culture.

Over the next 6 weeks, we are going to help you look at the teaching of Jesus. Straight from his mouth! Look what happens when we learn from Jesus:

Matthew 7:24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock.  26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand.  27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”

Wow. We know what a flood can do. Destructive. We are talking about more than the physical structure. We are talking about your home that transcends your house.

Your home- the place in which your domestic affections are centered.

How you view money can destroy your home. It can destroy your marriage. College students, how you view money can put you on a destructive path before you leave school.

Check out these stats:

  • 76% of Americans are living pay check to pay check ($50,000 household average income)  (cnnmoney)
  • 68% of people who are offered employer matching retirement accounts do not participate in them. (cbsnews)
  • American average has $7200 in credit card debt. (cbsnews)
  • Money was most often reported as a topic of marital disagreement. It beat out tensions about leisure, each spouse’s family of origin, children and religion.
  • 31% admitted to lying to their spouses about money.  Another third of those surveyed said they’d been deceived by their spouses.

I really don’t need to tell you stats. It is no secret. Dealing with our money is a problem in our homes. It is wreaking havoc.

What are the financial wrecking balls?

(one or more of will attack your home)

  • Lazy and Apathetic Attitude
  • No Future Planning
  • No Accountability
  • Selfishness
  • Fear of Future | Miserly
  • No Trusting God
  • Lack of Training and Instruction
  • No Healthy Financial Examples in our Lives
  • Spending to Heal or Hide our Hurts
  • Spouses Have Separate Accounts (secrets)
  • Lack of Generosity
  • Lack of Integrity with Paying Taxes
  • We Don’t Give to God
  • No Monthly Budget

Whether we like it or not, we will be attacked by one or more of these issues. You are human! You will be hit by one of them.


“Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock.”


Did Jesus say anything about money?  11 of his 39 parables deals with finances.  There are around 800 passages in the Bible that deal with money.  Let’s build our homes on the solid rock of Jesus’ teaching. Here is what he has to say about handling money.

  1. I can’t Serve An All Sufficient God and the god of self-sufficiency at the same time

Luke 16:13 “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” 14 The Pharisees, who dearly loved their money, heard all this and scoffed at him.

You can’t serve God (Jehovah) and the god of self sufficiency. The lie of money is that it is the source and you earn it. So if you want to be taken care of, then YOU need to get more money so that it will provide what you need.


  1. I Should Pay My Taxes

Matthew 22:17 Now tell us what you think about this: Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not?” 18 But Jesus knew their evil motives. “You hypocrites!” he said. “Why are you trying to trap me? 19 Here, show me the coin used for the tax.” When they handed him a Roman coin, 20 he asked, “Whose picture and title are stamped on it?” 21 “Caesar’s,” they replied. “Well, then,” he said, “give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and give to God what belongs to God.”


  1. I Need to Budget My Finances

Luke 14:28 “But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it? 29 Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of money, and then everyone would laugh at you. 30 They would say, ‘There’s the person who started that building and couldn’t afford to finish it!’


  1. I Should be Alert/Attentive not Passive or Apathetic

Luke 19: 20 “But the third servant brought back only the original amount of money and said, ‘Master, I hid your money and kept it safe. 21 I was afraid because you are a hard man to deal with, taking what isn’t yours and harvesting crops you didn’t plant.’  22 “‘You wicked servant!’ the king roared. ‘Your own words condemn you. If you knew that I’m a hard man who takes what isn’t mine and harvests crops I didn’t plant, 23 why didn’t you deposit my money in the bank? At least I could have gotten some interest on it.’ 24 “Then, turning to the others standing nearby, the king ordered, ‘Take the money from this servant, and give it to the one who has ten pounds.’ 25 “‘But, master,’ they said, ‘he already has ten pounds!’ 26 “‘Yes,’ the king replied, ‘and to those who use well what they are given, even more will be given. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away.  

  1. If I Give, I Will Receive

Luke 6:38 Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”

Giving means that you are separating from the money and losing control of it. You are sowing seed.

Matthew 6:19 “Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal.  20 Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. 21 Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.

  1. God Provides For His Kids

Luke 12:22 …Jesus said, “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food to eat or enough clothes to wear. 23   For life is more than food, and your body more than clothing.  24 Look at the ravens. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds!  25 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? 26 And if worry can’t accomplish a little thing like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?

Maybe a more appropriate question before we go any further is, are you a child of God?  Have you been adopted into his family and his provision?  He promises to take care of his children. We are a part of the promise that goes way back to Abraham. He will bless and take care of those in the family.

If you are not in the family of God, then getting in is not complicated.  We don’t deserve his provision. We haven’t earned the right to identify with God.

YET he loves us so much that he offers everyone in here today the chance to be in the family. Jesus came to earth to bridge the gap between God and man. He successfully accomplished that mission when he laid his life down, took on the sin of your past present and future, and nailed it to the cross. He died taking the deserved punishment for your rebellion. But, the grave could not hold him down! He rose from the grave on the third day. Now, he has sent me here today to let you know that when you put your faith in his resurrection and life, then you will be set into the family with him forever! You will be his son or daughter.

AND God provides for HIS kids!

If you have given your life to Jesus and trust him with your salvation, then you can lean on on his resources. You can trust him to provide what you need for today!  Pray!

Matthew 6: 11 Give us today the food we need, 

Matthew 6:31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.  34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. 

  1. Generosity is a Heart Issue. It’s about sacrifice not amount or legalism

Luke 21:1 While Jesus was in the Temple, he watched the rich people dropping their gifts in the collection box.  2 Then a poor widow came by and dropped in two small coins. 3 “I tell you the truth,” Jesus said, “this poor widow has given more than all the rest of them. 4 For they have given a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she has.”

Our PSM financial help ministry is called: MONEYWISE – we are committed to help you break free and release your generosity!  We offer two key resources:

  • Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University – Monday Nights- 7pm, in the Student Center Theater. (small fee per family to Dave Ramsey)
  • One-on-One Financial Counseling with PSM’s best Stewards! (FREE) Create a budget, start a plan to eliminate debt and release generosity!

Why Join a Small Group?


smallgroupWhy join a Small Group?

You can hear this sermon on our podcast by clicking here.

Mark 2: 1 When Jesus returned to Capernaum several days later, the news spread quickly that he was back home. 2 Soon the house where he was staying was so packed with visitors that there was no more room, even outside the door. While he was preaching God’s word to them, 3 four men arrived carrying a paralyzed man on a mat. 4 They couldn’t bring him to Jesus because of the crowd, so they dug a hole through the roof above his head. Then they lowered the man on his mat, right down in front of Jesus.(Jesus forgave his sins and then said)… 11“Stand up, pick up your mat, and go home!” 12 And the man jumped up, grabbed his mat, and walked out through the stunned onlookers. They were all amazed and praised God, exclaiming, “We’ve never seen anything like this before!”


This man needed a miracle.  He knew Jesus and Believed in his healing.  He knew where Jesus was.  BUT he came to impossibility where he needed someone who cared enough to lift him up the wall over the roof, take the tile off the roof, lower him down the hole.

He needed relationship to get from where he was TO his answer…at the feet of Jesus.

The question is not… Where are you going? Do you know Jesus?  Do you know where Jesus is?

BUT  Who will carry your mat?  Who will be there for you when you come up to an impossibility and you need relationship to connect you with your GOD?

Life is so short. What are we doing with it? What are our priorities?

I want to tell you the story of two Noels. I have officiated two funerals for men named Noel. One of the saddest funerals I have officiated was at Fort Sam in San Antonio. I arrived at the outside gazebo to perform the funeral for a 55 year old man named, Noel. I noticed there were only 5 elderly ladies gathered. When the hearse pulled up, the funeral director got out, opened the back door of the hearse and began to remove the casket. By himself, he struggled to remove the casket. I asked where the pallbearers were. He said, “There are none.” So, Matt Brock and I helped remove the casket.

Then there was Noel Rodriguez. When we had his memorial service this entire sanctuary was packed with friends. He wasn’t famous. He wasn’t on the news. Instead, he had made a point in his life to connect with others. One Noel lived a life by and for himself. The other Noel made it a part of his personality and character to connect with others.

I don’t know where you are in life when it comes to personal relationships, but I urge you to consider the truth that you need others and more importantly, others need you.

If we are so wrapped up in our own lives that we forget to invest in others, then we will find ourselves alone on an island.

PROMISEGROUPS ARE SETS OF RELATIONSHIPS. Relationships in small settings are crucial to your spiritual development.

Acts 2:46 And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart,

Acts 5:42 And daily in the temple, and in every house, they ceased not to teach and preach Jesus Christ.

Acts 8:3 As for Saul, he made havock of the church, entering into every house, and haling men and women committed them to prison. (there was a small group in every house)

Acts 11:11-16 talks of Peter and angels going into a house and the Holy Ghost falling upon all that were there.

Acts 12:12 And when he had considered the thing, he came to the house of Mary the mother of John, whose surname was Mark; where many were gathered together praying.

Acts 20:20 And how I kept back nothing that was profitable unto you, but have shewed you, and have taught you publicly, and from house to house,

How Does Carrying My Mat Work?

  • There is SAFETY. Transparency requires trust. You are in a safe place.
  • There is FOCUS – smaller settings allow going deeper.
  • There is CONNECTION to GOD – prayer and scripture.
  • There is FRIENDSHIP- first name, real conversation, lasting friendship.
  • There is SUPPORT – bear burdens, camaraderie, practical help
  • There is ACCOUNTABILITY (coaching) – you need someone in your life that realizes you are struggling before you even tell them.


  • I am shy – things to do at same time (interest groups)
  • I have a full schedule already – flexible schedule of groups. You have to say ‘no’ to something to say ‘yes’ to something else. What are your priorities?
  • My kids have early bedtimes
  • I’m brand new and have nothing to add to conversation.
  • I don’t know anyone. I am an outsider.
  • I have no idea what to expect.
  • I am afraid of being embarrassed.
  • I don’t want to be trapped in a group that I don’t like or relate to.
  • I have been hurt in a previous church and am not ready for relationships.

Some of our current Small Group leaders and staff members where in your exact shoes a few years back and they took a leap. Check out their story (we showed a video here)

You can make excuses all of your life, but at some point you need to make a move. You need to make a change. You can’t keep doing the same thing and expect different results.

We have groups on Every day of the Week. From 6am-9pm at night.  Buda, Kyle, Wimberley, San Marcos, Lockhart  Texas State Students – we have several groups for you. Look for ‘college’, ‘young’  –  Men,  Women – 5 days of week,  Fitness and Recreation,  Y tenemos dos grupos en espanol.


Fill out a response card today (Write Legibly on your card)  OR go to The City, download the new PSM App.



  • We will organize groups and give you Accurate info
  • Contact you back by Tuesday (there are a lot of people to contact and it is Labor Day tomorrow). With an invite to the official City group and email or call from the group leader.
Robin Steele

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